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Posts Tagged ‘choice’

Most of us have heard the phrase “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”. In the impatient, busy, noisy, and fast world, this is a very difficult thing to do. We’ll say we simply don’t have time , for example, to look someone in the eyes and recognize us in them. We get caught up with what we think as mundane, same old same old routine activities/work, not enough time for everybody etc. I am sure I am one of them. We get physically, emotionally, and spiritually tired. We just want to crash and take a break. But hey, what you do matter. Quite a few people have shown me that.

One case scenario: I was in in the hospital needing the bathroom badly because my bladder was screaming and I felt so nauseated. So I rang the bell asking for someone to help me out. Yes I wished I was just healthy and strong so I didn’t need to push the button and have someone help me. Asking for help is not one of my biggest qualities even though I subconsciously know there are plenty of people out there willing to help. Somehow I think I don’t want to bother people despite the fact that some people’s jobs are specifically to help people who directly need them. Anyway, a nursing aide was there looking like she was about to help me. Didn’t really look at me and just let me walk into the bathroom myself with her walking behind me. I didn’t even reach the toilet bowl yet when I could no longer control my nausea and vomited. That was it and she disappeared. Not a single word. No help, no sympathy, no empathy (so I thought). I tried to reason that she really had a bad day, had other pressing matters (more important case to deal with) etc etc. I tried to justify why she didn’t seem to care. One thing I couldn’t help? Feeling disappointed (more so than angry). But I learned my lesson: she showed me how NOT to be.

angeldevil

Which one? That is the question.

Second case scenario: This sweet talking, outgoing coworker lady who managed to borrow a few hundreds $ from me more than a decade ago. I wasn’t rich and this was my temp job. Every penny counted but my “weaker self” kinda felt bad for her. She needed the money and she probably knew how to use the naive me to lend her what she needed. She could cry all right, and those tears didn’t look like crocodile tears. So I did give her the money. I was no longer doing the temp work at the company and she seemed to “forget” that she owed anything. I even fell into her trap to give her cash so there wasn’t anything to track it. The money meant a lot to me but the fact that someone could manipulate someone else so NATURALLY like it was nothing just well…baffled me. Nonetheless. lesson learned: she showed me how NOT to be.

We are all teachers. It’s up to us to show others how to be…or not to be.

-D

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Here it comes again when someone or something dies! Most people cry, some people talk, some do get angry (denial process) and here I am pondering–can’t even count how many times–the meaning of my existence in this physical world called Earth. My death has been destined since the day I was born. It’s an inevitable fact that you and I know. Those who are born will die. (Physical) life is what happens between the two.

Why was I born then if death is what awaits me in the end? Surely I must have some kind of purpose to “fill the void” between birth and death? What do I have to do to fill the void? Or what do I have to be? What is this thing called life all about? Is it all about being born, growing up, getting good or best education, marrying one’s dream lover, having a big house, eating good food, collecting fancy stuff, feeding the poor, taking care of pets…?

Practically speaking, I can say “do good (things) in your life and avoid the bad (things)”. Another question comes up:  “What is good and what is bad? Is stealing bad? If it is, why do people still steal?  If killing is bad, why do people still kill? If love is all good, why do people hate?

Hey, I just started finding my meaning of life in my own questioning! Maybe I was born to choose what was “right” (based on my level of awareness of course) as best I can no matter what the consequences are. If I am broke, in desperate need of money and I find some wallet filled with hundreds of dollars, what will I do? Instinctively I know that the “right” thing, at least for me, to do is to find the owner of the wallet or give it to the cops if I can’t find him/her. I will have to put myself in the position of whoever loses the wallet. What if I am the one losing the wallet? How does it feel? Cognitively, however, my rational mind will say, “Don’t be foolish. You need money and you find it! Call it a miracle!” Most of the times the right things to do always seem impractical and difficult.  It’s a lot easier to go with the crowd than to stand alone, although the size of a crowd doesn’t always reflect “the right thing to do”.

Maybe in the end, what matter is the right things I have done because death is a solo trip. I won’t carry anybody else with me to be responsible for what I have done or what I haven’t done. Since I am still here on Earth, the day to day process of doing the right things is the most difficult. However, I am longing for the end where I say, “I have done most of what I thought were right.”

-D

Sumber Gambar: Google Images

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